Letters with Cheese

- For someone who loves letters, send them a bunch of hilariously written ones to crack them up.

- You can choose any 3 from a bunch of 6. The letters are addressed to Bollywood fanatics, geeks, dessert lovers, dog persons, victims of love and corporate professionals.

- The letters are beautifully packaged in brown paper to make the process of opening the letter very exciting.

Sample letter for bollywood fanatics:

Mere jigad ke tukde!

Jab se maine tumhe dekha hai, tabse tum mere mann mandir mein bass gaye…aur usi pal maine kar liya decide ki agar aap mujhe nahi miley toh Ramnagar ke water tank se gir ke hum kar lenge suicide!!!

Tumhaare milne se pehle meri life Thakur jaisi besahara, Kalia jaisi majboor aur Ram Gopal Verma ki filmo jaisi flop thi! Par jab se tum mujhe miley ho, meri life maano bilkul item number jaisi hit ho gayi hai!

(Contd in the letter)…

Sample letter for geeks:

Dear User,
Before you logged into my life's account, it was a pile of unread spams. But your posts have rebooted my system. You are that password to a blissful life which can never be hacked. A program which can never expire. A firewall to protect my against all viruses.

(Contd in the letter)…

Sample letter for corporate professionals:

Dearest Intern,
I am very happy to inform you that your sincerity and efficiency at work has gradually developed in me a liking for you and I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to brownie points

(Contd in the letter)…

Sample letter from a dog:

Woof woof!
If I could speak ‘human’, I would sing you a beautiful song (yes, we are naturally very talented) but since I can’t speak, I figured I would just write you a letter instead. So here- wishing you lots and lots of years of happiness and joy on this special day!

I was told you cannot have puppies like me in your home right now so on behalf of doggies everywhere, I just wanted to let you know we still adore you. I wish I could be there to give you a tight little hug with my tiny paws.

(Contd in the letter)…

Sample letter for victims of love:

To the Prime Accused,

You are being served this for the many malpractices and violations in compliance with the laws of love. Your crimes include:

• Rigging the romantic elections and thereby declaring yourself "the one"
• Trespassing private property i.e. the boundaries of the heart
• Unlawful possession of said heart which was procured by stealing(Contd in the letter)…

Sample letter for dessert lovers:

Hello apple of my pie,

My name is Red Velvet Cupcake. You can call me ‘Red Velvet Cupcake.’ I am writing with my tiny sugary hands to tell you how much we absolutely love that sweet tooth of yours. You’re the favourite-est customer in the whole wide world! We love you for pudding up with people who can't appreciate a good cinnamon roll and tira-mis-u every time you attempt a diet. But we love your appetite like chocolate chips love cookies and we are always full of encourage-mints...

(Contd in the letter)…

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